i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
