Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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