The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
