You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
