Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
