oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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