Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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