Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
