do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
