Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
