i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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