she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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