When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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