Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
