Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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