I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
