awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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