i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I intend to get homeless drunk
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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