Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
