i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
