Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
