I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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