I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
