it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
