And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
