as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Everything about him screamed your future.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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