I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so much tequila, so little girl.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
