there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
