positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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