mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
