so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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