I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
