Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
