these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
