Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
