you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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