oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
