i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
