Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
