HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
