Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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