Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
