Swine flu is the new snow day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
