just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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