Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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