grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
