try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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