I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
