Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
