I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you made out with another girl for some wings
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize