My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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