Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we should paint friendship bongs
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