they need to just BURY HIM!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
