i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
