He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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