I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
