She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
