im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
