Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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