I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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