her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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