We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
