and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
