My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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