Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
