I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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